Schecknerotica- NSFW

The following is a sample of erotic prose. I hope to be the next E.L. James, who found huge success with her erotic Twilight fan fiction turned erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey, success that I envy very deeply. Rather than choose existing IP to make more erotic, I decided to mix fact and fiction from my own life, which also has its own rabid fanbase. I will warn the reader that this post is graphic and decidedly NSFW. Please read my first stab at an erotic story, Schecknerotica as I’m calling it, titled “Erection at Duane Reade”, at your own discretion.

It was a cold winter’s day. I, Benny Scheckner, was sauntering down the streets of New York City as I had many a cold winter’s day’s past. I was unprepared for the sexual escapade that would befall me as I went to Duane Reade to pick up my month’s supply of anti-depressants and perhaps a Diet Snapple. Though typically I feared the aspartame, for some reason I felt on this particular winter’s day like risking potential cancer for a few sips of delicious Snapple glory. But little did I know, I wouldn’t get that far and sex would be the reason why. I headed up to the second floor, intending to obtain my medication first and foremost. I waited in the line, sweat beading down my entire body, from head to toe. There must be a heating malfunction, I thought. This was a hot, hot Duane Reade, even the deodorant was melting, lending the entire place to an intoxicating, slightly dizzying scent. The atmosphere was perfect for sex and I didn’t even realize it, I was totally focused on the task ahead and not at all on potential sex. I got in the line to see the pharmacist. I was innocent, pure. Was I a virgin at this time? No… but in many ways, yes, it would turn out. There was one person ahead of me, an 80-something year old woman who passed out from the heat, enabling me to skip her in line. She obviously didn’t want it bad enough.

The pharmacist, Lorraine, was pretty in that sort of sex lady kind of way. It wasn’t obvious to me that she had enormous breasts until midway through our interaction, when she took off her pharmaceutical coat, citing the heat. I’m sure she was just horny. She greeted me kindly, giving me a sort of “fuck me” eye contact that I get from most people. I didn’t realize how serious she was until that coat came off and I got that same sort of “fuck me” eye contact from her shockingly exposed nipples. How did she know? How did she know I was such a fan of nipples? She must have known I was coming in that day, in fact, she must be the one who cranked the heat. I would later find out that was indeed the case. As we sorted through my insurance problems, which took a laborious fifteen minutes, her flirtatious laugh was finally the thing that told me what was really about to happen, which was sex…

Lorraine asked me if I’d received the recent COVID vaccine booster. I said no, of course not. I’m not an anti-vaxxer, I’m just lazy. She offered to give it to me free of charge. Sensing a game afoot, I took her up on this vaccine, in spite of my ridiculous indifference. She directed me to join her behind the counter, in spite of the private area where vaccines are typically distributed being in the opposite direction. I followed her, eager for sex and hopeful that I was about to have it with this pharmacist. We walked for a long while, through shelving until after shelving unit of pills, until we reached a long, empty hallway. Finally, at the end of the hall, we entered a room. The room was carpeted and wallpapered with leather. Seeing this is when I knew for sure that I was not going to be getting any vaccine, which again, I was disturbingly indifferent towards. I wondered if all Duane Reades had rooms like this, or if this was just the sexiest Duane Reade. In the center of the room was a nail clipper, some dog food, and a container of expired fruit, all normal items one would find at a Duane Reade, yet here I knew they’d be used in some way as instruments of sexual congress.

By this point, my awesome penis was absolutely pulsating. Although really nothing at all had transpired, all of my buttons, buttons I didn’t even know existed, had been pushed. Through sex, Lorraine took me to new worlds, provoked my inner animal— specifically, my very sexy inner dog— and taught me how to have a type of sex of which I never could have conceived. Like a half hour of it was just her reading me magazine articles. Cum was everywhere. When I thought I was too tired to go on, when I thought I’d had enough, Lorraine told me I had to keep going. I capitulated. In the end, she told me it was time for me to give HER the vaccination or as she called it, “the jab.” While at first I was confused, I quickly understood that she meant sticking my penis on her arm and pretending it was a needle. While this proved an ineffective measure against COVID-19, which we both got that day probably from that old lady who I think actually died, it was hot as all hell. Lorraine turned out to be a freak billionaire who bribed the real pharmacist to take a break so she could have sex with me. I would later realize that she, being a billionaire who did not know how to actually be a pharmacist, gave me the wrong pills, leading to a severe mental health episode. But man, being institutionalized for a night was totally worth that scorching hot sex.